Open Canvas

Previously written, but freshly revised.

I check my email everyday to see what the newsletter from Ballet Beautiful brings.  When I’m angry or sad I now look to have my alone time with Mary Helen Bowers.  I connect an HDMI Cable from my phone to the television in order to see Mary and hear Mary at the utmost capacity I can endure.  I lose myself in challenge, in burn, in precision, in stream, in flow, in ballet-inspired motions and emotions.

For the past 7 months I’ve switched my training course.  I’ve been able to keep my motivation full of momentum.  I acquired new goals, new functions, new visions and new approaches.  I work on accessory muscles.  I work on finer details – you know the kind of muscles that add finishing touches.  I work on engagement.  I work on balance.  I work on coordination.  I work on intense body awareness.

There’s no surprise with the newer smaller muscles strengthened how much they propel my bigger muscles in being stronger and healthier in ways where movements (I train at least twice a week) such as Bent-Over Rows, Shoulder Presses and Squats are now enhanced.  Every exercise feels easier.  I move through them in flow.  I used to have a love/hate relationship with Squats and now I can say for the first time in a long time my Squats feel a thousand times better.  I feel lithe in action and my body responds effectively with countless muscle fibers igniting at once like electricity.

For the past 7 months my training hasn’t consisted much of what I call compound movements with heavy barbells or dumbbells.  Decreasing my weightlifting training has taken me a long time – mentally – to be fine with.  Of course, most of the movements I deal with on a regular basis are multipurpose anyway, but there’s also a higher caliber of isolated action, unlike compound activity.

For over a decade I’ve used external equipment on top of my already petite yet heavy solid and periodically doughy frame (160lbs, 180lbs, 200lbs +).  I know what compounds bring and I also knew I needed to shock my body to work for me in a whole different direction.  So I couldn’t wake up 13 years later to tell myself I’m going to cut back on weightlifting because I just didn’t know how I was going to put what I considered to be my religion on hold.  I couldn’t see it possible in my mind.

But, things take time.  Life happens and sometimes people suffer poetically during an ankle break.  Too many things broke down in my life, and the last two years I’ve been working to get back on top emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.  It seemed the only way for me to start was by starting small.  I remembered when relearning how to place weight through my ankle and on my foot again that walking a single block was hellish and too much for my lower back and ankle to bear.  During this time, weightlifting seemed like a big monster, it was too much to tackle.

So, I found solace in a new world that allowed me to start small.  All I had to do was a few minutes a day.  I didn’t even need to stand to perform these exercises.  I just needed to start and needed to commit to a thousand reasons bigger than myself as to why it became highly important for me to move my body.  That’s when I came across Ballet Beautiful by accident.

The minimalist appeal and whiteness of the set and such spoke to me.  It became an open canvas where I gave myself permission to leave my old fitness self behind.  I perceived the white to be virginal, a clean slate.  I analyzed the BB videos.  I analyzed Mary Helen Bower’s body of curves and (almost) hidden ballerina muscles and it was a new kind of strong and a new kind of fitness.  I started on the purple Mat.

Still I was selfishly deep into my depression and couldn’t get myself moving, let alone play with dumbbells.  Out of reach like an island I’ll most likely never visit – Plyometrics movement became removed from my workout regimen.  So, it made sense for me to try smaller workouts so I could pace my body and mind, even though I had an old school frame of mind where longer workouts like an hour plus is what I’ve been taught to perform.

The first small workout I tried was a 7 minute Swan Arms Ballet Beautiful workout.  I shit you not I thought flapping my arms up and down would be as simple as breathing air but I was mistaken.  It turned out I couldn’t even perform these swan arms for 20 seconds at a time.  My bodybuilder frame and over 30lb weight gain made sure my arms felt like wooden logs.  I was frustrated and wondered how I was supposed to get the maximum benefits out of these 7 minutes if I couldn’t even make it through the first minute straight.  But like everything, practice makes perfect.  I know I didn’t learn how to bench or overhead press over 90lbs on my first day of training.

I had to start from the beginning, which for me I kept looking at it like the bottom.  It took me months to get better and be able to do an entire 7 minute swan arm video without a single pause.  Imagine how thrilled I was when I did!  This meant the next best thing to do was to tweak my form.  I wasted no time in buying up Ballet Beautiful DVD’s overnight.  I made it a point to learn as quickly as I could.  I no longer thought about losing motivation.  Or if my workouts were going to be short or long.  The focus became about doing multiple workouts a day and night.  Mostly because I love a body challenge.

I was, and still am super high in love with Ballet Beautiful.  When the 5th month mark came around, I became confident with muscle memory and was able to perform videos and segments without pause I decided to subscribe to Ballet Beautiful’s Custom Workout Membership.  The only decision that seemed difficult to make was putting my gym membership on freeze while I use the gym money for my Ballet Beautiful subscription.  Well, I never thought I’d do that!  But it made sense, as every day multiple times a day I was dedicated and devoted to ballet-inspired workouts.  I was painting the new canvas with a fresh fitness brain.

-Ms. Hall